Read Anywhere and on Any Device!

Subscribe to Read | $0.00

Join today and start reading your favorite books for Free!

Read Anywhere and on Any Device!

  • Download on iOS
  • Download on Android
  • Download on iOS

Diddly Squat: Home to Roost

Jeremy Clarkson
3.95/5 (863 ratings)
It's been another memorable year on Diddly Squat Farm - will the chickens finally come home to roost?


----

Welcome back to Clarkson’s Farm.

So, that went well . . .

The spring barley crop failed.

Just like the oil seed rape.

And the durum wheat.

Then the oats turned the colour of a hearing aid and the mushrooms went mouldy.

Farming sheep, pigs and cows was hardly more lucrative. Jeremy would be better off trying to breed ostriches.

But in the face of uncooperative weather, the relentless realities of the agricultural economy, bureaucracy, a truculent local planning department and the world’s persistent refusal to recognise his ingenuity and genius, our hero’s not beaten yet. Not while the farm shop’s still doing a roaring trade in candles that smell like his knacker hammock, he isn’t.

On the face of it, the challenges of making a success of Diddly Squat are enough to have you weeping into your (Hawkstone) beer, but misery loves company and in girlfriend Lisa, Farm Manager Kaleb, Cheerful Charlie and Gerald his Head of Security Jeremy knows he’s got the best. And it’s hard for a chap to feel too gloomy about things when there’s a JCB telehandler, a crop-spraying hovercraft and a digger in the barn.

Because as a wise man* once said, ‘there’s no man alive who wouldn’t have fun with a digger . . .’

*Jeremy
Format:
Pages:
pages
Publication:
Publisher:
Edition:
Language:
ISBN10:
1405972262
ISBN13:
9781405972260
kindle Asin:
B0CY868CM7

Diddly Squat: Home to Roost

Jeremy Clarkson
3.95/5 (863 ratings)
It's been another memorable year on Diddly Squat Farm - will the chickens finally come home to roost?


----

Welcome back to Clarkson’s Farm.

So, that went well . . .

The spring barley crop failed.

Just like the oil seed rape.

And the durum wheat.

Then the oats turned the colour of a hearing aid and the mushrooms went mouldy.

Farming sheep, pigs and cows was hardly more lucrative. Jeremy would be better off trying to breed ostriches.

But in the face of uncooperative weather, the relentless realities of the agricultural economy, bureaucracy, a truculent local planning department and the world’s persistent refusal to recognise his ingenuity and genius, our hero’s not beaten yet. Not while the farm shop’s still doing a roaring trade in candles that smell like his knacker hammock, he isn’t.

On the face of it, the challenges of making a success of Diddly Squat are enough to have you weeping into your (Hawkstone) beer, but misery loves company and in girlfriend Lisa, Farm Manager Kaleb, Cheerful Charlie and Gerald his Head of Security Jeremy knows he’s got the best. And it’s hard for a chap to feel too gloomy about things when there’s a JCB telehandler, a crop-spraying hovercraft and a digger in the barn.

Because as a wise man* once said, ‘there’s no man alive who wouldn’t have fun with a digger . . .’

*Jeremy
Format:
Pages:
pages
Publication:
Publisher:
Edition:
Language:
ISBN10:
1405972262
ISBN13:
9781405972260
kindle Asin:
B0CY868CM7